So, I’m Jill, one of your new writers for this amazing website. You’ll probably be seeing a lot of updates from me, because to be honest I’m a little bit pathetic and totally infatuated with this show. From polls, to rumors, to step by step episode recaps, maybe even some graphics, I’ll be giving you guys all kinds of stuff…

If you want to see more or less of something, just let me know. After each episode is posted, I’ll probably be posting a step by step recap, kind of like this one. It’s just my thoughts and things that I notice throughout the episode. Please throw out some comments and let me know what YOU noticed, or what you think about the things we all watched, k?

So, without further ado, here are my thoughts on Episode 9. I wrote this while I was watching, I tried to edit, but it definitely flows the same as the episode. Obviously, if you want to avoid spoilers, you should stop reading. Again, IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS, STOP READING.

Okay then,

This episode is all about things that happen at night. This episode is all about when it’s dark and lonely outside and you feel like you can do anything that you want, because no one really exists but you and whoever you’re with at the moment. It’s dark, it’s secret, and yeah, it can even be scary…but the things that happen at night, they can be liberating too, you know?

So, the first thing on my mind right now is sex. With a dead man. Now, I’m all about Denny. I loved Denny and Izzie together. I didn’t even mind when the whole fake “Meredith Drowning” episode happened and Denny came back with bomb squad guy. But sex with a dead man? Even if it’s only in your imagination it’s still creepy. Can I tell you that when Karev walked through the door while Izzie is having her solo moan fest, I had to pause the show and take a moment to collect myself. Because no one wants to be caught having sex with an invisible dead guy. Even if said invisible dead guy was your fiance. I was mildly uncomfortable until Meredith thought for a moment that McDreamy was banging McSeesDeadPeople. That was kind of funny. I also loved the whole “let’s suck up to Bailey because we want solo surgery” routine. Was that a wink I caught from Karev? Karev is WINKING at MIRANDA BAILEY…and she liked it. Well. That’s new and different. Can I just say that I feel really badly for Lexie? I mean, she’s all bright and shiny and wants to be BFF with Mer. Meredith is NOT cut out for bright and shiny, as we have heard many times before. Meredith is dark and twisty, and Lexie grew up with a real family and smiley face posters. But little Lexie wants to be loved by Meredith, and when Sadie comes in with her talk about how “Deth” is totally wrong about Lexie, it’s her breaking point. I’d also like to point out that seems kind of backhanded for a supposed BFF. If I were Meredith, I’d be watching this girl around McDreamy…I also feel pretty bad for Callie. I never was a Torez fan, but she hit the nail on the head when she said, “Married, betrayed, gay, abandoned and then I woke up and had no idea how I got here.”

Also, can Torez really be felled by an elbow to the nose? Remember when Izzie thought she wanted to fight her for George? Trailer park Izzie would have kicked her Callie’s rear end quite soundly, if a little elbow action can knock Callie out.

I know we all have those Web MD fanatics in our lives- my mom is obsessed with WebMD. Stomach Cancer? Really. Stomach cancer, malaria, yellow fever, dysentery. I’ve diagnosed myself with all of those things on Web MD and the lady is right…the world is full of scary things. If there is a tool out there that can help us catch them early, it’s no wonder so many people self diagnose.

I’m also all about Mark this episode. I really want him and Callie to get together eventually. I don’t just mean dirty on-call room sex. I mean sweet Mark, tucking her into bed and kissing her on the forehead hooking up. I thought he was super cute when he got caught by Derek in the supply closet with Lexie—he says, I found the intern in the supply closet, I did not invite her! Lexie and Mark are a bad idea all the way around, unless he can be cute Mark with her…

Is anyone else seeing shadows of Fight Club in the Interns Surgeon Club? I keep wanting to say, Rule Number One: The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club. Which is why the intern was seen stuffing her face with chocolate and babbling. Despite not being able to handle fight club, that mentality is ingrained in her head. These guys are up to way more trouble than our old set of interns.

This show is so cyclical. It’s one of the major reasons why I love it. Meredith gets sucked into the Sadie debacle, so similar to how she got wrangled into the Denny ordeal.

I CAN HEAR YOUR HEART BEATING. Oh look, it’s another cycle…this time in the imagery. Think of Izzie laying with her head on Denny’s chest right after he dies, and she’s crying and there’s no pulse. But now she’s laying in a bed with the sheets around her, looking eerily like her dress for prom—only this time she CAN hear his heart. But– they took it out for the autoposy. This is real, it has to be real…real sex with an imaginary dead guy. But suddenly I can’t find the humor about the situation that I had earlier… it’s not funny anymore. Now it’s sad and tragic because he’s NOT REAL. It’s just that moment between sleep and waking when anything can be true. Where you can fool yourself into thinking anything you want, because no one is there to tell you any differently.

Meredith and Christina are growing up. I love when the intern finds Bailey, and I love that look. Bailey, there’s an emergency. What kind of emergency. Just, an emergency. Please come. And Bailey gets that look. That oh, crap, what have these crazy kids done this time…cause she knows. She knows that they are all insane little children with scalpels.

But now we’re back with Izzie, and I feel so bad for her. This is going to kill her when he leaves. He keeps saying “I’m here for you”…like some kind of sexy Grim Reaper who looks really good in jeans and a white tee shirt. This is definitely adding fuel to the Izzie has a Brain Tumor rumor that’s been floating around on the internet (but more on that in a different post)

I’m a little bit concerned about why Meredith isn’t freaking out over her BFF almost dying on the surgical table. Derek freaked over Meredith. Christina freaked over Burke. Hell, Christina went shopping at the dollar store when Mer was dying. But little Mer is cool as a cucumber. Oh, and there are all the new interns, sitting on the floor while their friend is dying…shadows of Mer on ferry day, I’m telling you.

I’m also glad that Lexie finally grew a pair. She stood up to George–this wasn’t about you. FINALLY. I love George, I do. But he’s so clueless. Little 007 and Bambi all wrapped up into one package. Lexie has been in love with him from the day she met him—just like he was in love with Meredith. I kind of cheered a little when the intern told George that Lexie was in love with him. It’s about time someone realized.

.

Mcsteamy let thee little girl sleep on him. When did he get so darn cute? Remember when Addison was talking about Karev being the kind of guy to have babies with? Well, I think Mark is that kind of guy too—he just keeps it buried under far more layers than Alex.

And is it just me, or did Karev turn all McHottie when he was defending Izzie? He did have a very good point–Izzie killed Denny while she was trying to SAVE him. They played Operation with Sadie just for kicks. I really do think those interns are way worse on the crazy scale.

How did I get here? It’s a question that haunts a lot of us in the hours before dawn. Because it’s quiet and dark, and you realize how alone you really are. You have time to think, and those thoughts can be scary. How did we end up here? How did I end up here, bringing in strays and betraying my “person”? How did I become the ex-lingerie model doctor with the dead fiancé who I am suddenly seeing everywhere I go? How did I become the married, divorced, gay, scared bone breaker who cries during surgeries? How did my life get so out of control, working in a morgue, that I had to literally cut myself open and convince people to give me a non-necessary appendectomy just so that I could feel something, anything, again?

The reason I love this show is because we do know how they all got where they are…with the exception of Sadie, for now. We know how broken and scared and determined everyone at Seattle Grace is. We know that even though sometimes things go bump in the night, there’s always someone there to help us through—and if not, denial and tequila make a pretty good substitute.

So, sorry this was so long, I promise I won’t always be like this…but maybe every Friday, I will be, because I like talking about the episodes in excruciating detail. You can forgive my once a week transgressions, right? So, until next time, share your thoughts about why YOU think Denny is back, because it is seriously driving me insane.